My First oracle deck ended up in the trash!
In my mid-teens, I bought my very first Oracle Deck.
I had absolutely no clue what I was doing, but it felt subtly familiar. A guide, a wise sage or someone that could lead the way and shine the light for me would have been helpful. My Nana, she was a spectacular woman. I knew she was working her light to illuminate the dark path for me as best she could. But life was heavy back then. And it was her “mama” that had experience with “the cards”. If you follow along you’ll hear all about my great-grandma Sophia.
I wasn’t ready for awakening, consciousness or my own power. I needed to experience life. There were specific lessons I was meant to learn. I wanted immediate satisfaction. It didn’t work that way.
So instead I’d shuffle, pull cards, be overwhelmed by all the words in the guide book (hsp trigger), Give up and shove them to the back of the drawer. At this point in life, such unbalanced energy was leading me.
Silly cards, my ego would taunt…
What do they know? It’s childish. Let it go. You’re already weird enough. That'll just make it harder to fit in that one size fits most box over there. You know the one;)
They moved from drawer to drawer till I finally let them go just after I turned 40! Three years ago while packing up our house, I frantically tossed our junk in a trash bag, desperate to lighten our load, I let them go. I was so overwhelmed and distracted. My mother had recently passed away and I was drowning in a home and community that were slowly killing my highly sensitive empathic soul.
After all those years holding onto those cards, in the garbage they went.
Funny how life works isn’t it?
Have you ever been drawn to something for as long as you can remember, yet spent most of your life trying to ignore it?
It’s what Rebecca Campbell talks about in her light work, you can’t ignore it, the niggle, it always comes back until you answer the call and honor your soul.
As a child, I was drawn to all things magical and mystical. They LIT me up. I loved crystals and cards. Believed in unicorns, realms and fairies, talk of witches, healing powers, fairy tales, folklore, potions, spells, and epic fantasy. But, past a certain age back then, there weren’t any kids that shared this “childish” passion.
So I quietly put all my magical objects, feelings, knowings and visions into the back of a drawer, stepped into the broom closet and locked it behind me.
Heavy-hearted I hoisted my leg into the
one size fits most box
that I’d try to fit into for decades.
Did you try to fit in that box? Do you still?
It’s pretty common for highly sensitive souls to try fitting in. Please know that you’re not alone and the box, it’s just not where you’re supposed to be, love. You need space to shine your beautiful unique light.
Still completely unaware I was a highly sensitive empath, I continued to ignore my intuition and just tried to fit in. I became really good at smiling, nodding and saying I was “fine”. I became increasingly uncomfortable in my skin.
My light was continuing to dim…
as happy as I seemed, I was falling to pieces on the inside. I needed guidance, a lightworker to illuminate the path.
Turns out my soul still had many human experiences ahead that would bring me to where I am today. I wouldn’t be the wise witchy woman I am now without them and for that I’m eternally grateful.
It’s all about allowing life to happen and learning to dance with your shadows. For when you dance in your shadows you emerge to a brighter light than you ever thought possible. The universe has a way of shaking things up to help you get where you need to be.
In 2016, the year after my mother died unexpectedly, I received my second Oracle Deck as a gift. I’d courageously signed up for my first online course called Live more Weigh Less with the lovely and magical Miss Sarah Jenks.
Incentives for signing up early:
- a beautiful mala
-a gift card to anthropology
-Daily Love Cards deck by Olivine (which I now gift to many, great starter deck!!!)
This incredibly wise woman would inspire me, light a fire in my belly, help me begin to heal a lifetime of body shame, teach me about embracing my light + femininity, encourage me to dream BIG, manifest the home of our dreams, teach me how to create sacred space for myself and reintroduce me to MAGIC, Oracle Cards and the POWER that lived inside me.
I’m forever grateful for Sarah’s light.
She’s illuminated the path for me, enabling me to illuminate the path for others.
After a stressful move, interrupted by my thyroid cancer, using these cards became a form of soul survival.
Broken-hearted, scared, stressed and sick my light was threatening to go out. The flame I worked so hard to fan was flickering again. I dug deep and continued my inner work. I spent mass amounts of time and energy manifesting the sale of our house, calling in the sacred land we longed to live on, crawling out of the hole grief had buried me in - only to find out that I had cancer.
Universe SMACKDOWN.
We were insanely grateful to sell our house in MD but we were officially homeless with two kids in elementary school and I had cancer.
I was exhausted.
Hanging by a thread.
I dug deeper.
I wasn’t prepared to allow my light to dim any further. I stayed the course and continued to show gratitude for all the many blessings in our life.
I spent countless hours begging the powers that be not to take me from my love and our babies, to allow this to be a lesson, not a death sentence.
Following the light to healing and recovery, baby steps, I just did the next thing. I stayed as positive as I could, faltering only in my darkest moments.
After surgery and a few weeks of recovery, we moved into our new miraculously manifested home. We had arrived in a place we’d dreamed about for years.
“You must be so happy,” everyone would say to me.
I was numb really. My highly sensitive soul needed time to deeply process all that had happened. I felt a bit like a deer in headlights and I still had to face treatment 10 days after moving in. Yet, the depth of gratitude I felt was immense.
The duality of being HSP is incredible, despite the intense challenges that lay ahead I was thoroughly enjoying the depth of soaking in the beauty of our new environment. Remember our depth of processing, EVERYTHING, is heightened. If you’re going through something difficult, be extra gentle with yourself. The challenges can be mighty but the beauty is sensational.
I’d been through so much…
I needed to find a way back to myself, to my soul, my truth.
The lightness of gratitude danced around me one morning as I moved into my new home office space. I’d been longing for and manifesting a space of my own for years. Unpacking the daily love card deck from Sarah felt like my soul's coming home.
Opening the door to the broom closet,
the light was almost blinding.
A rush of remembering and familiarity ran over me as I put on my mala, lit some candles and prepared for my first reading. The connection to these cards was magnetic. The messages were spot on. This empowered me to go deeper and start journaling again.
The oracle cards were helping to crack me open while guiding me, reassuring me and connecting me to myself and the energy around me.
Quickly, I created a ritual that I clung to for months combining all the magical and soul tools I’d been learning. The more I spent time with the cards in sacred space, the more inspired I was to continue working with them.
They became the lifeline I so desperately needed as I started this new phase of life, without my mom. This practice was opening me and shifting energies for me in ways I never thought possible. Connection, the cards were providing me with the connection my soul was begging for.
The call to share this incredible experience with others is wildly strong!
One I can’t ignore…
I’m over the moon excited to announce that I’ll be offering private one of a kind
Oracle Ceremony
I invite you to connect to your inner wisdom, magic and power through the art of Oracle Cards and Ceremony.
It would be my great honor to hold this space for you.
Book your ceremony today!
Seasonal Package available